Interracial Marriage

Thanksgiving dinner can be extremely overwhelming, especially when you are in a room with 22 New York Jews. Thanksgiving 2008 was defiantly one to remember. My cousin Chloe who is 24 has had a very interesting history with boyfriends. The first boyfriend she brought to dinner was a white boy covered in tattoos from head to toe, the next was a Jewish boy who was in law school. When she walked into Thanksgiving dinner last year, this boyfriend was a jaw dropper. Chloe walks in with a 6 foot 2 black man.

First was the reaction of my grandparents. My grandparents were born in the 1920s and are extremely traditional. They want what’s best for their grandchildren but also have a skewed vision of what that is. They are strong believers in endogamy, which is marrying within your racial, ethnic or social class. My Aunts and Uncles had mixed feelings. My parents however were extremely accepting and proud of Chloe for being different. My cousins, ranging from ages 8-26 couldn’t comprehend it. My older cousins, who were married and one with a kid on the way were against it, while two of my male cousins thought it was really cool. Every family member had a different reaction because of the way they were raised and how they were taught to tolerate race. My parents taught my two younger brothers and I to be accepting and not to quick to judge.

After the whispering had come to a halt, we sat down for a very awkward and silent meal, until my Grandpa voiced his opinion. He asked the Billy, “Do you not feel uncomfortable being in a room with 22 other white people?” Does your family even accept Chloe?” I thought, this man was running out of my house and was never talking to Chloe again. But he answered very calmly and composed, “No I do not feel uncomfortable, you do not have to accept me right away, but the times are changing and I care a lot about Chloe and am very happy.” Everyone sat there astonished and ashamed of being so quick to judge. Chloe didn’t see him as a black man, she saw him as a man she loved.

Chloe and Billy did eventually break up, and there was no interracial marriage. As we learned in class, interracial marriages are becoming more popular in the United States. Family roles are changing, especially after the 2000 census where you can identify as more then one race. As I reflect on each of my family members reaction, it is a perfect example of how being raised influences your beliefs about the social constructs of race. In the reading from the textbook, Redrawing the Color Line/ Problems and Possibilities of Multiracial Families and Group making by McClain and DaCosta they discuss that starting in the 1990s multiracial families and identities are becoming more mainstreamed and accepted. In lecture, since day one we’ve learned that race isn’t a biological category but social and cultural construct. It’s unfair that people are still so quick to judge just on the basis of skin. Looking back through history, starting from the hypo-descent one-drop rule, too present day where you can identify as any race, the racial boundaries are shifting. However, after reflecting on that family dinner, its sad that just because Billy was black, it caused such tension and chaos at a dinner. Just because of his skin color, everyone was so quick to judge. What made the white boy in tattoos or the white boy in law school a better match for Chloe? The color of their skin?

Affirmative Action for the Poor

Affirmative action is a highly debated topic in the country and almost everyone has a strong opinion on it. I think when affirmative action was put in place it was the right thing to do but since it has been many years I think it needs to be reevaluated. After reading the excerpts from Kozol’s Savage Inequalities he makes it clear that money does buy education. I have always felt this way, and that is why I think affirmative action should not only be based on race but also on SES.

Although a huge percentage of the lower class is made up of minorities there are whites in this class as well and they are put at the same disadvantages by attending underfunded schools. Students who attended well-funded schools are given opportunities that students from the inner city could only dream about. Money unfortunately is linked to academic achievement, which gives an upper hand to the rich. They are able to provide their children with tutors, educational computer games, traveling and many other things that will give them an edge academically. This is especially true for college preparation.

I was fortunate enough to have tutors that helped me prepare for the SATs. I benefitted greatly from the months of tutoring I received before taking the test but it put a dent in my parents’ bank account. In Westchester tutors can range from $75 an hour to $200 an hour and many students have one tutor for math and one tutor for English. The SATs are weighted heavily when applying to college and when you don’t have the money to spend for tutors or even a prep class the student is at a lose.

The article that we read that discussed how the admissions process has changed was extremely interesting. The steps that were taken to keep people out of Harvard are now things that help more people get into college. However, many of the activities that students fill their applications with are not available to every student. For example it has become extremely popular to send your child to a developing country for a vacation or summer to do volunteer work to they can put it on their college application. These trips come with a price tag starting at $5,000. Even some of the more prestigious clubs at school require students to spend extra money. For example there are two well-known debate clubs at my high school, Model Congress and the Junior States of America (JSA) require members to go on trips that cost money. And most importantly underfunded schools don’t even offer extra curricular activities like this.

Colleges are always looking to see what type of challenging courses you are taking. Even if a student attends a school that offers Advance Placement classes they may not be able to afford the tests at the end. Each test costs $86, which can quickly add up when taking multiple AP classes. In my high school I know if you receive free lunch from the district you pay a reduced price but not every school district offers this. Each school has their own rules but my high school requires you to take the test at the end of the course which may make a student not take the class because they cant afford it therefore not expressing their academic ability to its fullest.

For all these reasons and more that I didn’t mention I think SES should be taken into consideration during the admissions process. Affirmative action was established because minorities were not put at the same starting line as whites. I feel this is true for comparing the poor and the rich. I don’t think that race should not be a factor at all I just don’t think it should be the only factor. If a student shows promise and illustrates that they have use every opportunity that they have been offered they should be given the chance to show their full potential at the university level.

Multiracialism

Throughout history, there have always been controversies over the color of a person’s skin. Someone else’s race always makes a difference even if huge corporations say it has no effect on getting a job. However, race does matter. At the same time, race has been changing ever since the first European settlers came to America. Social order used to be based on wealth, especially transformative assets, so African Americans had a disadvantage from the start. Nowadays the United States is moving toward equality and the idea of a multiracial community has come to form socially and culturally.

Ever since foreigners have come to America they have been subjugated to prejudice people and discrimination. It is because this that interracial marriage is looked at as taboo. It is not so much about two different marriages; it is how America reacts toward them. But in my opinion, multiracialism is the only method to reach racial equality and get rid of a division. When it gets to the point that no one really knows what race they are, then people cannot suppress other people because of race. When it gets down to it, people just focus on the skin color of a person and not at what is important. I know from a real life experience. I am a Mexican American, but I do not look prototypical Mexican. I have white skin and whenever I tell someone that I am, they are instantly dumbfounded. That is not the reaction I should receive, but its what I get just for the fact that I am Mexican. Hopefully, people can stop caring about someone’s skin color and there will be no more conflict between different races.

According to the course book, South Africa endorses apartheid, which is a state-sanctioned and legally enforced policy of racial segregation. In my opinion, this law would regress multiracial politics and hinder the country’s development. At first, the thought of multiracial was stigmatized and limped into a response to social and cultural pressures. Now, times have changed and more and more people are willing to go find someone who they truly love as opposed to endogamy. By definition, endogamy is the custom of marrying only with one’s racial, ethnic, or social group. I am not trying to state that endogamy is a bad thing, but if marrying outside of one’s race changes peoples perceptions about other races, then so be it. People do not need to live in a society where they are intimidated to have relations with people outside their race. As time has gone on, there have been more marriages between races and not as much of a stigma. Today, people hear about the “multiracial community” everyday, whether it is in the popular press, academic literature, marketplace, and the creation of multiple multiracial organizations.

The way it looks, it seems that history is repeating itself. Americans first went after Blacks and Indians, next they discriminated against Asians and Mexicans, and finally Americans are going after the multiracial community. So according to history, multiracialism should soon be on its way to equality. All in all, I believe multiracialism is a great thing and might be the only way to ever solve racial equality.

After talking about interracial marriages in lecture the other day, the idea of this remained very prevalent on my mind. My family is Jewish, and throughout each generation, it has been apparent that every family mine marries into, is Jewish as well. It has always been a family "tradition" almost of mine to marry within the Jewish community, raise your children to be Jewish and then have them continue the cycle by marrying another Jew. Ever since I was younger, I can vividly remember my grandma reminding me on countless occasions to marry a "nice Jewish boy". She explains how there are enough problems within a marriage, religion does not have to be one of them.

This past summer, my cousin Matt married his wife Vicki. Vicki's family is Cuban and follows in strict Catholic practices. The first time I walked into her house, I was amazed with the amount of decorative crosses I saw placed throughout the house, as well as other decorative pieces that reflected her culture. I think what amazed me more however, was the long and viscous talk almost every member of my family gave to my cousin Matt after meeting her, about making sure this was the right decision for him. Looking back, it also amazes me the amount to which I agreed with the rest of my family, in that this interracial marriage would end up being a catastrophe.

I think what this experience taught me, is that people do in fact believe there are inherent differences across cultures. Why should a different religion amount to an unhappy marriage?

Some arguments my family gave my cousin was the question of how they will raise their children. Will their son have a bris? A christening? Differences in traditions brought upon anger, when they could have been a time to celebrate and appreciate the differences in both of their cultures. Interracial marriage remains a topic that is very much on the individual level and I think other bystanders should learn to appreciate the decisions people make at an individual level instead of making them a societal issue.

At my cousins wedding, the ceremony incorporated traditions of both a Jewish and Catholic wedding, that in fact made the ceremony extremely special and unique. Differences regarding the way in which they will bring up their children, my cousin claims they will "cross that bridge when they get to it", but do intend to be able to incorporate both cultures and traditions. Each individual issue remains to be exactly that, an individual issue. So what makes one couple happy may be different from the next, but does not make them the wrong or bad choice. Of course it is also hard for people, like my grandma, to throw away ideals that have been instilled in them throughout their life time, but I think once people begin to have acceptance and appreciation of peoples individuals decisions, it will extend to acceptance at a societal level as well.

Criminal Justice System.

Everyone always wonders how successful institutions are at reforming their inmates. There is always a variety of outcomes especially for black males. In class, we learned that almost, “40% of the black male population is under the supervision of the correctional system meaning they are either in prison, jail, or on parole or probation. This statistic is extremely high in the sense that almost half of all the black males are incarcerated in the country. So does being a black poor male virtually set you up for failure?

James Woods, was a black male at the age of 18 and was thrown into jail for a drug bust. He was placed on a three-year indeterminate sentence meaning every few months they would evaluate his behavior and see if he was ready to be placed back into the real world. He got out in a year. Jail impacted James in many different ways. He said that he had a white roommate, and they were treated completely differently. James was beaten, taken advantage of, and jail had shook him and changed him forever.

James used to hustle on the street, and sell drugs but after his horrible experience he was never going back, he knew he had to change. He moved to Miami, Fl and decided to give back to the community. He runs a self-owned cleaning service where he will only charge $3 dollars per bedroom and $5 dollars for a kitchen and living room. James lives a very humble, honest and drug free life. He told his story, about being in jail and how institutionalized systems in America are corrupt, I knew I had to blog about this.

Even though, property, violent and rape crimes have decreased since the 70s, the United States still holds the highest incarceration rates in the world. That may just be because we have money, since it is extremely expensive to hold someone in jail. James was deserving of jail time, served and now is a completely changed person. Despite his mistreatment in jail, and his resentment toward “the white privilege” he managed to better himself. He told my friends stories about how 3 white men including his roommate would beat him in the courtyard at least once a week, or when he had to break up bricks, his white roommate got to serve food.

All in all, James Wood is a perfect example of how our institutionalized facilities in the United States, do provide correctional changes, yet racism is still a persisting issue. While discussing the Black Community and their relationship with drugs, there are two overlapping trends we learned about in lecture. Overall, there has been a massive increase in the number of drug arrests in the US, and blacks have constituted an increasing proportion of those arrests. James was one of many members of the black community jailed for his involvement with drugs. As a nation, we need to focus on lowering drug use, which will help decrease incarceration rates. James is a reformed man now, and the institutional system did that. It changed his life, despite some hardships, in a very significant way.

The Meaning of Marriage

Having discussed in class the impact and change of the complexity of interracial marriage, I stated to reflect on my own experience. Coming from a family who follows Judaism and holds the traditions very seriously, my family has made it very clear to me that I must marry a Jewish man. My mother tells my sister and me al the time that we should only date and take men seriously who are Jewish, in order to keep the familiar traditions going. My mom made is so apparent that once when I mentioned the name of an Italian boy I just met, my mother said, "sorry, but you will not date men whose last names end in a vowel" (stating a stereotype that people whose last name end in a vowel are not Jewish). I happened to be appalled by that connotation, for my mother does not have an open mind to the idea that maybe there are more important arts to a person and a relationship than only religion. However, with my mom’s persistence I am living my life knowing I have to marry someone based on guidelines.

I found this incidence with my mom expressing her concern about family heritage to be very interesting after the lecture on interracial marriage. It made me think, is my mothers idea that different religions shall not mix as bad as saying that people of different races should not mix? I happen to think not, for I understand my mother is not saying that people of different religions are subordinate, she just wants me to carry on our family heritage and beliefs.

Interracial marriage is thus a separate issue, with different underlying meanings behind choosing to or not to marry someone of a different race. Interracial marriages have been increasing consistently from the 1970's to present- day. This is a very big step in the history of the world, where there was once a time that marrying someone of a different race was illegal. Loving Vs. Virginia marks a huge social change, and I believe times today confirm that racial barriers are weakening. I happen to know several couples who are interracially married, and are raising their children to be comfortable with their skin color and family history. I believe Hollywood has signified a change in times, with the many celebrities who are now interracially married. With celebrities such as Heidi Klum and Seal, these role models make interracial marriage seem "okay" and "socially acceptable" to the world. I believe that the more interracial marriages become prevalent, the more people's attitudes toward different races will change for the better.

Racism in America

The other day, I watched a youtube video, in which a team of people were trying to prove racist thoughts still present in society. Within the video, two cars were parked in a public park. One car contained 3 white teenage boys completely destroying a car with spray paint while jumping on the roof of the car as well. The experiment was to see if anyone would call the cops on the three boys. It was amazing to see the reactions people had. As people walked by the vandalized car, almost not bystanders said a word. In fact, one older woman joked about how they hoped it was there car and that they wouldn't do that to hers. The boys just continued to laugh and destroy the car. After hours of vandalization, only one passerby decided to approach the boys and threaten to call the police. However, while all of this was going on.. a second car of three black teenage boys were in the same lot, all sleeping in the car. While the white boys were vandalizing what could have been any ones car, no calls to the police were made, were as two calls were made to report suspicious behavior of boys sleeping within a car.

After a couple of hours, the positions were then reversed, and three black boys began to vandalize a car, while three white boys slept in an adjacent car in that same park. Within minutes, three calls were made to the police by passerby's, and two other men approached the kids and told them to stop. When interviewed, those who called the police said they were just looking out for the good of the neighborhood.

This experiment greatly shocked me. It was crazy to see how people could report crime only when it was done by those who were "fit to do crime". This showed how prevalent racism still is in America. People are deterred to report crime if they believe someone of their "own kind" is being the perpetrator.

However, I don't think people realize that they are committing acts of racism. I think people think of racism and discrimination as something of the past, and don't see why it still needs to be combatted. These racist acts are fully adding to the disparities in society as large institutions, such as the criminal justice system, continue to unconsciously or consciously target people of color. I think by having people first realize that they are committing acts of racism, it can really bring about change. People inherently see racism and discrimination as bad, so by pointing out these actions, maybe it can enlighten people to do something about the issue. Maybe asking people if they would be scared to drive in a white neighborhood versus as a black one, and then ask why they feel this way. Or asking if people would mind if blacks or minority groups moved into their neighborhood, how they would react. Maybe, once people see that racism still exists, they will be more willing to try and combat it.