Interracial Marriage

Thanksgiving dinner can be extremely overwhelming, especially when you are in a room with 22 New York Jews. Thanksgiving 2008 was defiantly one to remember. My cousin Chloe who is 24 has had a very interesting history with boyfriends. The first boyfriend she brought to dinner was a white boy covered in tattoos from head to toe, the next was a Jewish boy who was in law school. When she walked into Thanksgiving dinner last year, this boyfriend was a jaw dropper. Chloe walks in with a 6 foot 2 black man.

First was the reaction of my grandparents. My grandparents were born in the 1920s and are extremely traditional. They want what’s best for their grandchildren but also have a skewed vision of what that is. They are strong believers in endogamy, which is marrying within your racial, ethnic or social class. My Aunts and Uncles had mixed feelings. My parents however were extremely accepting and proud of Chloe for being different. My cousins, ranging from ages 8-26 couldn’t comprehend it. My older cousins, who were married and one with a kid on the way were against it, while two of my male cousins thought it was really cool. Every family member had a different reaction because of the way they were raised and how they were taught to tolerate race. My parents taught my two younger brothers and I to be accepting and not to quick to judge.

After the whispering had come to a halt, we sat down for a very awkward and silent meal, until my Grandpa voiced his opinion. He asked the Billy, “Do you not feel uncomfortable being in a room with 22 other white people?” Does your family even accept Chloe?” I thought, this man was running out of my house and was never talking to Chloe again. But he answered very calmly and composed, “No I do not feel uncomfortable, you do not have to accept me right away, but the times are changing and I care a lot about Chloe and am very happy.” Everyone sat there astonished and ashamed of being so quick to judge. Chloe didn’t see him as a black man, she saw him as a man she loved.

Chloe and Billy did eventually break up, and there was no interracial marriage. As we learned in class, interracial marriages are becoming more popular in the United States. Family roles are changing, especially after the 2000 census where you can identify as more then one race. As I reflect on each of my family members reaction, it is a perfect example of how being raised influences your beliefs about the social constructs of race. In the reading from the textbook, Redrawing the Color Line/ Problems and Possibilities of Multiracial Families and Group making by McClain and DaCosta they discuss that starting in the 1990s multiracial families and identities are becoming more mainstreamed and accepted. In lecture, since day one we’ve learned that race isn’t a biological category but social and cultural construct. It’s unfair that people are still so quick to judge just on the basis of skin. Looking back through history, starting from the hypo-descent one-drop rule, too present day where you can identify as any race, the racial boundaries are shifting. However, after reflecting on that family dinner, its sad that just because Billy was black, it caused such tension and chaos at a dinner. Just because of his skin color, everyone was so quick to judge. What made the white boy in tattoos or the white boy in law school a better match for Chloe? The color of their skin?